the idea of quitting on the spot.
when moving from Montreal to Toronto, i requested a transfer from the job i had then since they’re also located here. it seemed like the easy way to go. finding a new job when moving to a whole new city can be a little hard, and intimidating. although i did transfer, and that everything got successfully done, it still took a while for them to hire me and process the whole thing. i moved here the first week of june, and only got to start work the first week of july. so during that whole month, i decided to – why not? – scout around for another job. just in case the transfer doesn’t end up being completed. i dropped off my resume at a few places, and ended up getting about two calls back, and went to one of the two interviews. it was a long process, but they ended up telling me they were interested in hiring me. before they did so, the other job called me and told me my starting date (around the first week of july, as mentioned earlier)
i started working for them. at first it was great. i liked it even better than in Montreal and although it really isn’t a dream job, it’s still an “easy” job to get some extra money from. all my co-workers were being overly nice, welcoming.. and so were the managers, executives.. the whole thing. i loved it at first. it was a whole new experience. then weeks passed by. the other job called and gave me a start date. i gave them the days i had off from the other job as my availabilities (which pretty much means = no day off) so for three weeks i was working every single day. while the second job turned out to be really fun, the first one started to feel old. and you know.. once you’re around something/someone long enough, you start seeing it’s flaws, and your appreciation for it decreases, or in some rare occasion increases as you get to find some sort of appreciation in those flaws. in my case, it was all about growing extremely tired of it. the co-workers, once nice and welcoming, started to feel hypocrite, mean and unwelcoming. it’s then that i started planning to simply quit once school starts. i’d tell them something like “oh my god, i just got my school schedule.. and it’s way busier than i expected it to be. i’m sorry.. won’t be able to work for you any longer… thanks for the opportunity..” and i’d keep the second job as my part time job during school.
but then, yesterday, i woke up, felt annoyed because that day i was working at the first job. i had been feeling that way every time the past weeks. just this annoying feeling where you feel forced to do something. not too nice to wake up, and already feel like that. got ready, ate breakfast, walked to work (which takes about 35 mins too… while the second job is about 7 mins away from my apartment). once i got there something felt different (i had been working at the other job three days straight, so returning to the old… definitely felt old), i wasn’t motivated, i was counting down the seconds. my shift started at 11am, and by around 1pm my boss walked by and told me i didn’t seem too happy that day, to which i replied i just didn’t feel comfortable (earlier on that day, a co-worker told me to go to this other department to fill somebody else’s spot, and i had no idea how to do their job, simply felt out of place). then he started telling me all these things i should do/how i should be/what i should do/blah blah blah, it was a real snooze fest. he was being rude too, the way it was all coming out. i somewhat just tuned out, and at some point the following words came out of my mouth “mmm.. i’m sorry… huh, this is not working out. i’m not comfortable working here any longer.. just no .. this job isn’t for me.. sorry” he seemed a little confused as the words came out of my mouth in a very clumsy manner, but he got the point, i assume. i then grabbed my water bottle and any other belongings and left. i didn’t feel the need to say bye to any co-workers, i don’t do well with fake people.
and it was freeing…. i honestly was at that point where i couldn’t stay there for just one more minute. and now that i’ve quit, i’ve got the following three days off! days off? i can barely remember what those feel like! well, finally some free time to post new blogs.. and stuff like that. i’ve missed working on my own stuff, rather than working for people who don’t even give a damn about you.
on a brighter note, i’ve been dying to buy a puppy lately for some reason… and i know that it’s probably some stupid “of the moment” thing, but the idea seems so nice. what do you guys think? what kind of breed do you like most? i have a thing for dogs that are so strange looking that it’s terribly cute. like a pug or french bulldog, or this one crossbreed called Puggle (a mix of a pug and a beagle). i’d definitely need to find some kind of small one, close to miniature, as i don’t live in some ranch up on the mountains, but in a rather small apartment in the city…
i’ve posted a few pictures on my deviantart lately! you can check them out by clicking here, i’d appreciate your feedback!
listen to: sky ferreira – obsession
fight like a warrior.
moving to Toronto made me realize one thing; you’ve got to fight for the things you want in life. whether it is a job, a university acceptance, friendship, relationship, you want to become an actor, name it all. not that i hadn’t realized it before, but now more than ever, i’ve somewhat come to understand what the whole idea behind it all happens to be. people will always get in your way, because after all, we all want to succeed, or i’m assuming so. and sadly enough, there isn’t enough room for all of us to succeed in our society, and the only person in charge of whether you will succeed or not is you. yes, you! all you. and of course, in order to succeed at something, you’ve got to be good at it, and you need to be focused. the most depressing thing is when you hear people say “i wanna be famous” or “i wanna be rich” or “i wanna be a movie star”, what the F does that even mean? people aren’t rich just to be rich, there’s always a reason behind it. and same goes with your favorite celebrities. they aren’t were they are simply because they prayed to become “famous”. they’ve work hard (or most of them did) to get where they are at the moment… and are probably working even harder now that they’ve got all these responsibilities.
after moving here, i was without a job for about a month. i did request a transfer from my old work before moving, but you know, to people you’re just another random person on this planet, so your transfer is the last of their priorities. i had to contact the job here about five times, and meet with them in person about three times before i finally got the job. and yes, it did make me feel unwanted, like they didn’t care, didn’t wanna hire me. i was being dramatic and all. but instead of giving up, i just kept trying until i was finally given a starting date. i probably wasn’t their first priority, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t wanna hire me. so if someone says no to you, don’t take it too seriously, just prove yourself to them, and then see what happens.
and same story goes with the second job i’m currently trying to get (yes i know… workaholic much). i applied. got a call back only three weeks later. was scheduled for an interview with the co-manager. then later on was called back for an interview with the manager. then was told by the manager that i had potential and would most likely be hired, and would hear back from them in about a week. a week passes by, no call back. so i follow up, the manager thanks me for following up and says they’re in the middle of all these administration changes and that i should be getting a call back in about two weeks. three weeks pass by, no call back. i freak out. feel unwanted again. feel depressed. feel annoyed. feel upset. don’t wanna call back cause i don’t wanna look obsessed and annoy them. then this morning i was like “so what? why not just call.” took some courage, but i did. then i find out that the old manager was actually fired, and that they hadn’t had access to the administration files and stuff yet. funny eh? i almost peed my pants. all that stress, and for what? nothing. nothing was ever about me. nothing was wrong with me. i was given a new interview date, which will be on monday. hopefully i’m lucky and get the job.
oh, and i just finished registering for my classes for the fall and winter semesters. and thank god i was able to keep my fridays off both semesters. i also tried to make my schedules so that i’d be able to fit in as many work shifts as possible. university isn’t free…! i CANNOT wait to start university though. it’s going to be amazing. i haven’t been in school for a year, i feel braindead. and i’ll be studying something i love (photography) what more could i ask?
so be a warrior. your own little warrior, fighting for all these things you want. and it will get you places. i promise.
oh, and i’ve been posting a lot of new pictures to my deviantart. please check them out by clicking here. and let me know what you think? thank you <3
listen to: v.v. brown – shark in the water
maman, je t’aime !.
my mom & sister are finally coming to visit me in Toronto next week, June 28th! it was really sad to say goodbye to my mom. whenever i would talk to her about moving to Toronto for university, it’s like she wouldn’t pay attention or listen. maybe she was just trying to avoid facing the situation in a way. she’s always told my sister and i that we’re the most beautiful thing she has in life, and that we’re her reason to live. we’ve always been really close. although things kind of changed a bit when her and my dad got separated last Christmas, she moved out while my sister and i stayed with my dad, so we haven’t spent as much time together, still, i love my mom, she’s amazing and i can’t wait to see her.
as you’ve probably noticed if you follow me on twitter, i’ve got a love affair with food. and so does my mom, and my sister too. so i’m excited for when they visit just so i can bring them to all these cool restaurants that i’ve been to so far. not that i eat out everyday, but i enjoy finding out about awesome restaurants (which excludes fast food places).
there’s this one all you can eat sushi place on Queen street called Aji Sai, honestly the best all you can eat place that i’ve been to in my life. because you know.. usually “all you can eat” places tend to suit the “you get what you pay for” say. but the food is actually amazing for the price, it’s around 14$ for lunch, and 22$ for dinner. and their menu isn’t all sushi, but also has all kind of other asian dishes.
then there’s my absolute favorite restaurant so far called Chi-Ko-Roo on Church Street. it isn’t that expensive either, and yet the food is amazing, so is the service and the place itself, very modern looking. oh, and the plates are huge! so you can take the leftovers to go, and pretty much get a second meal out of it! their menu has tons of tasty and healthy food. and they serve you free bread with three different amazing dips. one is hummus, and i think another one is this one Asiago Garlic Artichoke dip. OH, and they’ve got the best Sweet Potato fries i’ve had… so yeah, if you’re ever in the area. you should go! and maybe i’ll bump into you. okay no.. i don’t actually go that often!
my sister also really wants to go to Canada’s Wonderland (Some kind of a Six Flags style attraction park), so we might go there too. i haven’t been in so long..
and that picture on top of the post is of my mom and i, i have no idea how old i was.. but it’s definitely one of my favorite pictures of the two of us!
listen to: cee lo green – what part of forever
